Advice to my Younger Self

by - Tuesday, December 01, 2015

Now I know that the usual posts that I have seen around this topic are giving your 16 year old self advice. But I was leaving school then and I didn’t stay on to do my A-Levels and I went straight into college and working. Reflecting on it now, it was a bad choice and I have to live with that. But it makes me think about the reasons I made the choices I did after 16, and when thinking about it, it stemmed from the choices I had started making around 13. So, my advice is to my arrogant, cocky and stupid 13 year old self and the many years after. Here goes.
Between the ages of 9-11 I absolutely loved school. I say from 9 as that’s when I moved to the Midlands, as I don’t remember school before this date. Some would say that I was a teacher’s pet as I was a straight A student, used to volunteer for extra curriculum projects (such a nerd I know) and I always did well at my homework. My parents actually thought that I would become a teacher. From the age of 11, when I went up to high school I started to get really bullied. And this isn’t an excuse at all, because I blame myself for letting it get to me. And it followed me up to grammar school, and then I kind of went off the rails. I thought that skiving school, starting smoking and drinking at the weekends was cool. I was determined to try and fit in with the “cool” kids, that my school work slacked and I ended up getting borderline bad grades. Although I had passed the essentials, it was just that, a pass. Nothing more and nothing to be proud of. Looking back, I’d tell myself not to give a hoot about what people think of you, just keep your head down and get on with school. It was only the last three years of school, I could have got through it. Or tried other options.
When you are little all you want to do is grow up. And when you are older, you wish you was still little. I am guessing it is probably to do with all the responsibility of taking care of yourself. Plus the mortgages, food bills, living costs and every other thing that you end up needing to pay for. Blahh! I’d love to just go back to school, and just enjoy it. Even just for a year, how could anyone not enjoy short 5/6 hour days plus 13 weeks holiday per year? I’d kill for 13 weeks holiday now. I struggle to make less 4 weeks holiday last all year. I really wish that I had forgotten about all the crap that was going on and just enjoyed school. Enjoyed spending time with friends and not worrying about those who clearly didn’t like me for whatever reason. I hold my hands up and say that I get jealous knowing that people are still friends with their high schools friends. Because I am not, not one person. I admit, my friends are pretty awesome, but these are life friends that I have met through working and have just stayed close.
I have always been told that I am too sensitive, in a really weird way all I wanted to do when I was younger was just be liked. No-one likes being bullied and I forever felt like an outcast so I tried hard (possibly too hard) to be a popular kid. Don’t worry I never resorted to becoming a bully, but I did try to get involved with the cool kids and involve myself in things that didn’t actually matter. Now that I am older, I don’t care if people like me or not. And I am happy not having loads of friends that are not actually even friends, why did I try so hard having so many friends and knowing everyone? I am much happier having a hand full of friends that are life friends. And I am much happier now I don’t give a hoot if people like me or not.
Everyone (whos legally old enough) can enjoy a tipple now and again. But why oh why did I think it was cool or good for my body to drink bottles of lambrini, vodka and cider round a friends house and get absolutely shedded to the point of passing out at the age of 15/16. Like really? Why would anyone want to feel like that. It’s not cool. Its just stupid. And how did I not care about getting a hangover? I hate them now, I do drink when I am out but I have water in between or just don’t get drunk as I can’t bare having a hangover. At 25, I know I am a complete amateur. But I don’t care, I enjoy waking up at the weekends hangover free and snuggling with my little Pepe. Hashtag YOLO.
I hold my hands up and say I was a right bitch. A lot of people go through those “teenage” years where you are nasty to your family and just don’t care about anything. And mom, pops and betty, if you are reading this then I am sorry! Family is the most important thing to me, end of. And I love having such a strong family, and now I have matured (a hella lot) I have become really close to my family and my mum is my best friend. But growing up I was horrible, and I had argued with my parents more times than I had hot dinners. And my advice to you is, be kind! Your family care about you so when they tell you off it isn’t to be awkward, its because they care and want to protect you. When you are older you will realise this, as I did. I just really wish I wasn’t so mean to my family growing up as I know that I would have had an amazing relationship with them, the one that I have now.
This might sound like a quite serious thing to say. I knew many people who were sexually active in school, and if that was there choice then so be it. But I was in such words a late bloomer, and I didn’t do the “deed” until I had finished college and was in a relationship. Which I think is quite sensible although if I could have waited longer, then I would have. I think there is a lot of pressure on people at high school to be active with their boyfriends, it was almost like a game. And it shouldn’t be like that. It doesn’t matter if you are not ready, and people shouldn’t judge or call you names if that’s your choice. There is a lot of pressure when coming up to 16 and its sad to say I often felt like lying and just pretending I did, but then I though why should I? I am not ashamed. I am quite old fashioned in the sense that I think there is a “right” time and you shouldn’t rush into something, after all you only get once chance so make sure its your choice. So this advice isn’t really to tell me that I should have waited, but its to tell me that it didn’t matter what age I was (as long as it’s legal) then as long as you’re ready and its your choice then it’s fine. 

I envy young ladies these days, as they seem to have skipped the awful make-up attempts, black and blonde hair (nope I never did it!) and orange skin. Sadly I did this one. Whatever possessed me to cover my skin in layers of dream matte mousse that was clearly too dark for my skin, not to mention thick and horrible texture. Ew. Seriously, how is this still around? And it’s not just the dream matte mousse, it was the really orange Collection 2000 face powder that I used to buy in 2 shades darker cos of my oriental heritage that gives me super pale skin. Why oh why did I do it? *holds head in shame*.
I really wish I had good grades and stayed on to do my A-Levels. Despite my GCSE grades never being checked by colleges or employee’s, it would still be nice not to have to pretend I did well and actually have grades that didn’t spell out the word fudge. So not only did I wish that I did better, if you happen to not have done as well as you had hoped (just like me) then my advice would be, don’t let it define you! Although I fluffed up at school, I have still graduated from college at the age of 18. I have a job, and I bought my first house at 22 and I bought myself a car at 23. I have paid for my own wedding and I am working towards a Bachelor of Arts degree with the Open University. My end goal doesn’t stop there, I want to travel. Possibly get a Masters or a PhD, and it’s all possible, I just wish I had worked harder at school so I didn’t have to wait until 24 to start my degree.
What advice would you give your younger self?

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*Image sourced from Pinterest

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