Life Lessons

by - Saturday, February 20, 2016

We all have regrets. Things that we wish we would do different or things that we would delete out of our past completely. I came across a wonderful little post on Victoria's Blog about what it made me really think about my own life, and what I would change about my life whilst growing up. My life has been a huge learning curve, and I have made many,many mistakes (a lot that are staying in the past).

I hold my hands up when I say that I refer to my life as somewhat of a mess; although I am proud of certain aspects of my life like owning my own house at 22, and being married at 25 (paid for ourselves), without going into too much detail, there is so much of my life that I wish I could delete. There are many things that I have learnt through growing up, things that have made me into the person I am today. Even if I want to change a lot of my past.
First things first, I would listen to my parents. Being a typical teen with a typical teen attitude, I was disrespectful and rude to my parents most of the time. It is something I am certainly not proud of and I sincerely wish that I could turn back time to give my parents the respect that they deserved. Parents nag, that’s what they do. But they only do it because they care and well because they are usually always right. My mum is my best friend. I tell her everything, I see her every day and I trust her more than anyone and my pops is possibly the bravest and most kind hearted person I know, he really is my hero. I just wish that I had developed the relationship and friendship that I have with my parents whilst growing up. I only blame myself but thankfully I have a wonderful relationship now and I have so many memories to create.
Most people go through a stage in their life of being bullied. But when I was I was bullied, I mean really bullied. By girls. By boys. And by my so-called friends. I wasted so much of my school days upset and with a bad attitude because I hated everything about school because of those bullies.. Looking back now, I couldn’t give a shit about what those bullies thought of me, but I wish I didn’t care back then. And I wish I didn't let it affect my life as much as it did. I wish I stuck in school and not cared about who was going to say what to me. So many people have wonderful memories of their school days with friends who have stuck around. I don’t have that. It is easier for me to list a name of people who were my friends at school, than those who weren’t, and the only reason I can do that is because it was less than a handful. Literally. But I wish I spent more time enjoying growing up with the friends I had rather than caring about those who would never be my friends.
It’s always hard to find real friendships or relationships when you are the one that everyone knows as the easy target for being bullied. Everyone prefer taunting you and faking to be friends with you, just for their own entertainment. That goes for relationships too, my insecurities whilst growing up made me feel somewhat desperate to be in a normal relationship. But it was never normal. My normal relationships (before meeting my husband) were boyfriends ignoring me for days or weeks, “dating” me as it was a bet with their friends for their own entertainment and two of them even cheated on me with my best friend at the time, cos clearly she didn’t care about our friendship. I just wish I knew my worth, as I sure as hell wouldn’t stand for that shit now. Thankfully, Maz is rather lovely and shown me how real relationships work. Obviously since we are now married!
Why didn’t I stay on, stick at College and go University? What idiot does that. That’s right, me that’s who. I don’t blame being bullied for me not staying in school or finding my path, but I do blame letting it get to me. I wish that I had stayed in school, found my career path sooner than I did and went to College and University and enjoyed my time as a student, as not only did I miss out on some incredible parties and memories but it is also a lot harder to start studying for a degree and hoping to study for a PhD at the age at 24.  
This might sound cliché, seeing as this is written on my blog. But I do really wish that I had found my love for writing and blogging sooner. Maybe your lifestyle tips might have been the escape I needed through school, or your beauty posts would have helped avoid many many beauty disasters. Whatever it is, it has helped me become the person I am today. I really have found something that I love, and I have worked hard to create my space on the web to what it is today.
What do you wish you’d change about your past?

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